And among His signs is this that He created for
you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them,
and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are
signs for those who reflect.”(Quran 30: 21)Quran 30:21)
Marriage is a lottery,” “No, It is not. It is not meant to be!” No matter your
perspective, the institution of marriage is as old as the human civilisation.
It is because Prophet Adam and Hawwa (upon them be peace) were tied together in
‘wedlock’ in the celestial that we derive validity to sing the praise of the
Almighty each time the female and male genders find union on terrestrial earth.
it appears, marriage has continued to be an important issue of concern to
humanity. Every day the wedding bells continue to ring; every passing week, we
hear of couples breaking the marital vows. Thus, when ‘learned’ men and women
choose to engage the topic of marriage, it is to remind all and sundry that
when there is no peace at the home front, the city centre would become
insuperable and riddled with indignities.
marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually
recognized union or legal contract between two willing and matured individuals.
It is established on rights and obligations between the latter, between them
and their children, and between them and their in-laws. It is considered
universal culture. For example, among the Arabs during the days of Jahiliyya,
there were 10 different types of marriages. No matter the option, which catches
your fancy, it is usually Arab women during that era before the advent of
Islam, particularly those in the lower class, who suffered most from failed
marriages. To women of the era, marriage was not about lottery. Rather, it was
usually an interaction between the powerful and the powerless.
But it was
not only among the Arabs that marriage could feature the bad, the good and the
ugly. In China, excessive love between husband and wife was seen as a threat to
the solidarity of the extended family. Parents could force a son to divorce his
wife if her behaviour or work habits did not please them. They could also
demand that he look for a concubine if his wife is unable to birth a son. If a
son’s romantic attachment to his wife rivalled that for his parents, the latter
could the wife send her back to her parents. In the Chinese language the term
love did not traditionally apply to feelings between husband and wife. It was
used to describe an illicit, socially disapproved relationship.
woman in ancient China might bring one or more of her sisters to her husband’s
home as backup wives. Eskimo couples, in North America often had co-spousal
arrangements in which each partner had sexual relations with the other’s
spouse. In Tibet and parts of India, Kashmir, and Nepal, a woman may be married
to two or more brothers, all of whom could copulate with her.
Europe, Antonia Fraser, wife of Henry III, posited that ‘marriage was the
triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in
order to reach the public eye. And after marriage the woman was required to go
through total self-abnegation. In the contemporary Western world, marriage is
like coke: you either take it or leave it. The more popular the couple, the
more the possibility of their marriage hitting the rock. If you desire to
appreciate the other side of marital life in America, turn your cable
television to the Divorce Court.
Islam marriage is one of the recommended acts of worship expected of every
Muslim who is able and can afford to shoulder its responsibilities. (Q. 24:
32). The Prophet of Islam says: “O you young men! Whoever is able to marry
should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.”
In Islam, modesty is regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said,
“Modesty is part of faith”. Perhaps the greatest incentive for marriage is
exemplified in the following statements of the Prophet: “Marriage is my Sunnah.
Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me.”
probably based on the above tradition that marriage, variously known as
al-Nikah or al-Zawaj is a solemn and sacred social contract between a man and
woman. It is regarded as a strong covenant (Mithaqun Ghalithun) as
expressed in Quran 4:21.
Headline: Coping strategies in marital union in Islam
Source: The Guardian Nigeria