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Islamic Sharia Laws (21 Dec 2013 NewAgeIslam.Com)

Muslims Should Beware Of Fatwas, Here's Why: Top Ten Towering Fatwas


By Muslim Institute.org

A spectre is haunting Muslims - the spectre of Fatwas. All the powers of old Islam have entered into a holy alliance: to issue more and more Fatwas, each as ridiculous as the other, and thus drown the Islamic earth in a pestiferous flood of Fatwas. Muftis and Mullahs, on-line clerics and television preachers, bearded bovines and senseless Shaikhs - they are all at it.

So gather around O believers! Here is a list of our all-time favourites.

1. The top place must go to the former Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaikh Bin Baz.




In April 2000, the Shaikh, an authority on the Qur’an and the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, issued, after considerable study of the sacred sources, a fatwa entitled ‘The Transmitted and Sensory Proofs of the Rotation of the Sun and Stillness of the Earth’. The learned Shaikh declared that the earth was flat and the sun revolved around it. Numerous Muslim scientists, who had measured the circumference of the earth correct to three decimal places way back in the eight century, immediately turned in their graves.

 2. The Mullahs in the Deoband seminary in India are never far behind their Saudi colleagues. They have, however, introduced an innovation, and are now involved in a ‘cash for fatwa’ scandal. The going rate is said to be Rs 5000 per fatwa. Literally dozens of Fatwas are issued by Deoband every week, like pork sausages coming down a conveyer belt, on a variety of topics – ranging from the use of credit cards to watching films (Both are Haram, strictly forbidden, if you must know). But their divorce by mobile phone fatwa takes the biscuit. Issued in November 2010 by Darul Ifta, the fatwa department of Dar-ul Uloom, Deoband, it reads: ‘Talaq (the word ‘divorce’) uttered thrice over a cell-phone by a Muslim man will be considered valid even if his wife is unable to hear it due to network or other problems.’ They could have added: ‘or if she is hard of hearing.’





3. But why bother speed dialling that number in the first place? You could send a text instead.

 In March 2007, the Grand Mufti of the UAE issued a fatwa urging the faithful to divorce their wives through SMS. ‘Divorce through modern facility does not differ from divorce written on paper,’ the Mufti declared. He did not clarify whether you had to send three text messages or if simply one would do. However, he did emphasise that no one but the husband was allowed to send such a message. We hear that divorce by text has now become a popular pastime in Tajikistan.


 4. But make sure you don’t include those evil Emoticons in your text message.



 Emoticons, says Multaqa Ahl al Hadeeth, an Indian internet forum for devout Muslims – that is, those who hate deviants and ahl Bid’ah (people of innovation) – is the work of the western devils. The site, which describes itself as a ‘meeting place for students of knowledge’, asserts: ‘Emoticons are forbidden because of its imitation to Allah’s creatures whether it is original or mixture or even deformed one and since the picture is the face and the face is what makes the real picture then emoticons which represent faces that express emotions then all that add up to make them Haram.’ That’s devout logic for you.

 5. Devout husbands must be eternally vigilant and careful, lest they accidently and unintentionally nullify their marriage.



 One way such misfortune could befall is by accidently seeing your wife naked during sex. According to a fatwa issued in January 2005 by Rashad Hassan Khalil, one time Dean of Sharia at that great citadel of Islamic learning Al-Azhar, ‘being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage.’ So cover yourself O ye faithful!




 6. What if the wife is dead? Well, that shouldn’t stop you from having sex with her, at least according to the highly regarded Moroccan Islamic Scholar and a member of the country’s religious hierarchy, Abdelbari Zemzami.

 He justifies his ruling, issued in May 2011, through an age old source of Islamic law – analogy. ‘Since a good Muslim couple will meet again in Heaven, and since death does not alter the marital contract it is not a hindrance to the husband’s desire to have sexual intercourse with the corpse of his (freshly) deceased wife.’ So stop mourning and get on with it.

 7. Dead or alive, do make sure that your wife is a real woman and not a ‘tomboy.’ Women who wear trousers, or behave in a ‘manly manner’, according to an edict issued in October 2008 by the National Fatwa Council of Malaysia, are ‘tomboys’ and not women; and therefore Haram (forbidden). So do make sure, O believers, that your wives do not have short hair, wear jeans, or speak too loudly.

8. Or do yoga.

 A month later, in November 2008, the National Fatwa Council of Malaysia identified Yoga as ‘an aberration’. The Iman (faith) of a Muslim is already too weak, declared Abdul Shukor Husin, the Chairman of the august Council, to stand the onslaught of Hindu spiritual elements and chanting. Yoga ‘can destroy the faith of a Muslim’ completely! The Council is now working on a ‘Halal Yoga’ so that ‘more complaint Muslims would not be confused’. Presumably it involves Halal necrophilia.

 9. However, if your Yoga-practising tomboy of a dead wife wants to go out and work there is a handy solution to your problems. According to a fatwa by Ezzat Attiya, another genius from the Al-Azhar factory and head of its Hadith Department, issued in May 2007, the rules forbidding unrelated men and working together can be easily overcome. The women should breast-feed their male colleagues. That, on the authority of some Hadith or other, would make them kin, nearest and dearest who can work and hang out together.




10. In the end, as in the beginning. We return to Sheikh bin Baz, the late, lamented Grand Mufti of the Kingdom of unsoiled Muslims with perfect faith. Thanks to WikiLeaks we now know that it was none other than the blind Mufti himself who decreed, in a famous fatwa in 1991, that women should not be allowed to drive.

 The Sheikh declared, reads a cable, that ‘allowing women to drive would result in public “mixing” of women, put women into dangerous situations because they could be alone in cars, and therefore result in social chaos’.

 The man was right. The Islamic earth is really flat.

Source: http://www.musliminstitute.org/critical-muslim/issues/01-arabs-are-alive/top-ten-towering-fatwas

URL: http://www.newageislam.com/islamic-sharia-laws/muslim-instituteorg/muslims-should-beware-of-fatwas,-here-s-why--top-ten-towering-fatwas/d/34938



  • Dear Akhtar,
    You ask: "What does "captives whom your right hands possess."

    Here is an interpretation of the Qur'anic expression maa malakat aemaanukum' (traditionally translated as you quoted) from a  duly approved and authenticated work:

    The Qur'an employs a dignified phrase, ma malakat ayman to denote slaves, bondmaids, and for that matter, anyone who is under one’s lawful trust. Most scholars render this phrase literally as: ‘what the right hand possesses’, and connote it restrictively with slaves, bondmaids, captives, and prisoners of war in the masculine as well as feminine gender. Such an interpretation is misleading. The closest literal translation of this expression would be: ‘those possessed by (or under trust to) the right hand.’ However, the Qur'an uses the word ‘right hand’ figuratively to denote a positive lawful status, such as the companions of the ‘right hand’,6 and God's ‘right hand’.7 Therefore, the phrase could be best rendered as “those under one’s lawful trust.” Thus through its ingenious vocabulary, the Qur’an gives a new ennobling status to the slaves and bondmaids who were historically relegated to the lowest rung of the social hierarchy – hated, despised, brutalized and segmented from the freeborn by impervious boundaries.    The Qur’anic phrase malakat ayman (sing. milk al-yamin) is no camouflage or mere euphemism. In the Prophet's days, captives from armed conflicts were distributed among the Medinite Muslims for their safe custody. Those captives, whether male or female, were virtually ‘slaves’ but were regarded as malakat ayman; and accordingly their custodians treated them with sympathy and consideration. William Muir, one of the most hostile of the Prophet's biographers offers this quotation from a prisoner: “the men of Medina made us ride, while they themselves walked, they gave us wheaten bread to eat when there was a little of it, contenting themselves with dates.” 8

    Ref. Chapter 30, Essential Message of Islam

    NOTE: The Qur'an does not permit sex with them except by way of wedlock - not muta marriage which is virtually prostitution under rubric of Islam.

    By muhammad yunus - 12/23/2013 10:05:41 AM

  •  In end we & islam forgot humanity , humanbinder due to islamic binder & create human world & islamic world on earth. all hypocrites & selfish ,unhonest person from both side  playing with innocent people in diffrent  form ,role etc.

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 7:24:52 AM

  • Why sex with women captured in war is halal in Islam - YouTube

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 6:45:35 AM

  • What does "captives whom your right hands possess" mean in the ...

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 6:42:17 AM

  •  read

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 6:40:23 AM

  • you can  get  a easy support from quran by playing rubic cube or deceptive methods.

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 6:29:47 AM

  • Observer sabNo you get support from using deceptive method. Because quran write in

    old forgotten arbi & also in poetry style. Also driven & empowered by miracle  of  WORDS OF GOD .

    To declare the superiority and validity of the teachings of RELIGION without considering the reasons thereof is undoubtedly very harmful. for it will give rise to propagation of all sorts of things good or bad, meritorious and demeritorious. The validity or non-validity, superiority or otherwise of a thing can only be established by cogent and potent reasons .

     U also forgot binding between good ,unselfish ,bad & selfish. Which are soul of religion  due to blind binding  to religion.

    By akhtar - 12/23/2013 6:24:52 AM

  • Rashid Sb,

    The fatwas that have been cited are also taken as a joke by the majority of Muslims and as you have correctly pointed out, no one is saved from the consequences of following a wrong fatwa as there is no support for it in the Quran.

    The Vatican also issues such 'fatwas'. For example, they have issued a similar fatwa on Yoga. What the Vatican says is binding on Catholics but in Islam, there is no such binding obligation to follow a fatwa but on the other hand, a person is not absolved of his personal accountability, if he follows a  defective fatwa. A Muslim is required to have the requisite knowledge and Taqwa to follow the right path and if lacks these, he alone is to blame, and there is no escape for him by relying on any fatwa. 

    By Observer - 12/23/2013 3:09:51 AM

  • Because Observer, these are taken as “religious edicts” gospels, and therefore believed to be ISLAMIC. Which is a shame; in accepting the fraud committed on it, and also the lewd contents of the fatwas.

    Bushe’s idiotic statements were considered as jokes by majority Americans and not gospel truth, I suppose, for example this:—

    "I will not withdraw, even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me."
    By Rashid - 12/23/2013 2:59:42 AM

  • Why should a collection of the worst 10 fatwas embarrass all Muslims when fatwas are not binding on them? The ten stupidest things said by junior Bush can easily compete with the worst fatwas but did not make all Amercans hang their heads in shame.

    Fatwas issued by single persons should be banned or declared invalid. 

    By Observer - 12/23/2013 12:52:44 AM

  •  Thanks for washing the stinking morality of theirs in public. If all this is true, it is despicable and shame on the entire Muslim nation!

    Perhaps this is why the good Book, of which they claim mastery, ordains that when they ( Oh, Messenger) ask you for a Fatwa – “qulillahi yuftikum”- Say only God issues a Fatwa 4-127 and 4-176.! Lillahi, NO ONE BUT GOD!!

    So these muftis, BLIND or not are playing gods, just like the maulanas- the high priests, ….all committing shirk!!

    Hang our heads in shame for allowing it to exists!!!

    By Rashid - 12/22/2013 11:06:58 PM

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