Refat Sabbah: ‘This war is against all of us: Christians, Muslims, Jews’
New Age
Islam News Bureau
11 November 2023
·
Refat Sabbah: ‘This war is against all of us:
Christians, Muslims, Jews’
·
The story of Hala, Maimana and Habiba: The mother and
her daughters killed in Gaza by Israel's bombs
·
Woman Arrested For Hate Crime In California Has
Persian Posts On Instagram
·
Breaking barriers: RBTC unveils stories of 100
trailblazing Muslim women
·
Women’s life satisfaction hits global low in
Afghanistan amid declining freedom
·
UN officials call for urgent action on women’s rights
issues in Afghanistan
·
Bushra Bibi may be arrested in the near future
·
Think dating is hard? Try being a single Muslim woman
in the UK
Compiled by New Age Islam News Bureau
URL: https://newageislam.com/islam-women-feminism/refat-sabbah-christians-muslims-jews/d/131094
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Refat Sabbah: ‘This war is against all of us: Christians, Muslims, Jews’
Paolo Vittoria
November 11, 2023
Refat Sabaah, the general secretary of
the Arab Campaign for Education, president of the Global Campaign for
Education, and founder of Teachers Creativity Center association in Palestine,
gives us a lesson on peace in the most violent setting. There’s no salvation if
we lose our humanity, not only in Gaza, but in the entire world. Hence, the
call for collaboration with the Jewish global peace movement and international
solidarity.
“In Gaza there are bombings everywhere that are killing thousands of children, women, people with physical and mental disabilities, people who have nothing. It is a genocide. What we are experiencing is horrible but, despite this, we must teach teachers, and students, human rights,” he said. “If we lose our humanity, we cannot continue to fight for our children. I fear that the crimes in Gaza will affect us for a long time, and it is not easy to convince teachers and students to continue to believe in humanity, but this is the centrality of education.”
How do you move in Gaza now, as educators, also operationally?
One of our offices in Gaza was destroyed by bombs. So, we are moving to different areas, particularly towards the South. Together with educators and volunteers we are trying to work with children, students, and families on their socio-emotional and psychological conditions. Our vision is global, not nationalistic. I believe if you feel global, you are global. I still believe in a global humanity, that’s why international solidarity is very important.
If you, from Italy or another country, participate in the administration, organization of pacifist anti-war activities, you are not only helping Palestine, but you are helping yourself to remain human because what is happening in Gaza will affect the entire world; writers, journalists, activists, women, children must participate. This is a message to the world. We will remain human if we exercise our solidarity. What is happening in Gaza is not just destroying lives, but our humanity. Solidarity is the place of educators and activists. We are not allowed to dehumanize ourselves, destroy the history of our humanity, otherwise men will kill each other everywhere and we will legitimize any violence.
How did the Teacher Creativity experience begin in Palestine?
I was a teacher between 1990 and 1994 when there was not full Israeli control over the education system, and the Palestinian Authority did not take over the education system yet. Israel tried to control the education system immediately after the beginning of the first Intifada, monitoring materials and teachers, closing schools, arresting teachers and students. In the beginning of the first intifada, I did organize popular classes for kids in the north of West Bank, in cooperation with Israeli peaceful movement, particularly with Arna Mer-Khamis.
Between 1990-1994 began the problems between students and teachers, between the students themselves and with their families. At that time, we feared that the entire education system would close, and we organized the teachers’ resistance. We addressed these problems by opening a dialogue among us, and in 1995 we created Teacher Creativity center to bring students and families together to face the crisis we were experiencing. There were civil problems; how we perceive others and ourselves. Without freedom of thought, speech and movement, the education system has no value…education should aim for freedom and humanity, because we cannot continue struggling for our freedom without a lot of love not just for ourselves but for the others who are different from us.
Is it possible to maintain and defend human values in face of so much violence by the Israeli military?
In a terrible crisis like war, people start to believe in nationalism, they can become racist. They start to believe that becoming nationalist is a way that can protect them, which is obviously a mistake. Then the hate speech starts to take over and control them. So always, even during a war, we must defend the revolution of human rights, a civil education that we are still carrying forward, looking at the social aspect, given that there is a strong link between academic and social results. Is there any value if a student is excellent in math and then kills someone? You have to be not only good in mathematics, but above all a good human being.
I was recently invited by a colleague to a conference on education in Ukraine. I told him: “we must be aware that we cannot lose our humanity and that nationalism is a mistake” Crises, like the one we are experiencing in Gaza, have a political, social and economic perspective even if we struggle to maintain a vision of this crazy world.
Radicalization and fascism, two sides of the same coin…
Israel’s militarism and violence have nothing to do with Jews. We must claim international solidarity together with pacifist Israelis and Jews around the world, by creating a global movement with all religions, a global alliance for peace, against no one. People must learn to be balanced, not to become radicalized because they will reach fascism before knowing it and without realizing it. If you think mechanically, you can become fanatical. The principle is the same as fascism: “we are right; they are wrong.” Radicalism also comes from a false interpretation of religion.
Given all of this, education is very important, because it represents the values that, as educators, in the Arab world and in Europe, we must support the understanding that radicalism can support imperialism and vice versa. The concept of radicalism should be discussed in education at all levels. I am afraid not only for now, but also after the war on Gaza and for this reason every voice in this world that calls for a ceasefire is important. Otherwise, we will pay a high price not only in Gaza… but all of us.
Do you feel solidarity of pacifist Jews on your side?
Most Jews are against the war and stand in solidarity with us. And we must listen to these voices who want to stop this massacre and we Palestinians stand together with all the Jews of the world who want to stop this massacre. Israeli communities are demonstrating for a call to stop the war, and in some cases even more than us! So, this war is against all of us: Christians, Muslims, Jews. Whoever justifies this war is committing a crime against humanity. We have relationships with many Jewish intellectuals who work for peace around the world. I personally work with many of them. The problem is the nationalist right and the radicalism that we see growing not only here, but always and everywhere. Without a culture of peace, we will experience radicalization around the world. And radicalism justifies fascism.
Lastly, this peace needs justice; otherwise peace without justice is a declaration of war.
Source: ilmanifesto.it
https://global.ilmanifesto.it/refat-sabbah-this-war-is-against-all-of-us-christians-muslims-jews/
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The story of Hala, Maimana and Habiba: The mother and her daughters killed in Gaza by Israel's bombs
10 November, 2023
Katia Youssef
Hala with her eldest daughter Maimana. Both were killed by Israeli bombing
on October 25, 2023 [Al-Araby Al-Jadeed]
October 25 may be the cruellest day
Hadeel Saleh will ever experience. Minutes after ending a phone call to her big
sister Hala who lives in the Gaza Strip, a massacre took place, one which
killed Hala, alongside her two daughters Maimana and Habiba.
Hala's husband is still among the missing with many other members of her family.
Hadeel, a Palestinian living in the UK, says to Al-Araby Al-Jadeed, The New Arab's Arabic-language sister edition: "I had been very worried since the start of the assault on Gaza because I've lived through several of the previous wars on the Strip. Each time I called my family I could feel their distress and anxiety.
"In my final call to Hala, before the line cut, I asked how she was, even though I was completely aware of the dire situation she was living in, and the question wasn't even looking for an answer: it was just a way of expressing my anxiety. We talked about normal, everyday things, in an attempt to speak about anything other than the war."
She adds: "Hala's voice was very calm. She was scared. But she was accepting of her fate, and she said a few times: "We are fine, everything that comes from our Lord is good. Take care of yourself and your children."
I felt like these words were a farewell, but I refused to acknowledge to myself that it could be the final one. We didn't say goodbye to each other like we usually did, because the call cut off. A few minutes later, the Israelis began to bomb the area".
Hala: an exceptional woman
Hadeel is crying as she continues: "My sister was an exceptional woman, I cannot summarise her character in a few words. She worked in an insurance company. She was that person who would always make you feel happy with her constant smile and her optimism, and she had big aspirations and dreams that reached the sky.
"This made her stand out among everyone who knew her. She opened new doors, thought outside the box, and always dreamed of becoming a journalist. She also loved reading, wrote poetry, and she’d started writing children’s stories, which spurred her to set up a WhatsApp group for exchanging books and ideas."
In the last few years, explains Hadeel, Hala had started recording voice clips of excerpts from books she loved, and she would post them on her Instagram account. She also volunteered in the Champion Club in Gaza, which is a cultural entertainment centre for families and children, where she would read stories to the children every week, and organize fun activities for them. She dreamt of setting up a book club where people's different reading experiences on the ground in Gaza could be exchanged.
"Hala had four children who carried the seeds of her dreams, and she was the source of inspiration for them. She never stood in the way of their desires or made them study certain specialisms. Instead, she always supported them and left them the opportunity to discover their own passions and interests. But the war has taken her and her two daughters."
Her daughters: Maimana and Habiba
Her eldest daughter, Maimana, loved art, and she chose to study it at university. She longed to travel to America or Britain as soon as she finished university – she hoped she would have the chance to continue her journey in the world of art and creativity and fulfil her expansive dreams.
As for Habiba, she was full of life and always happy, and her presence anywhere was always uplifting. She had a strong personality and dreamt of becoming a lawyer.
Hadeel says: "On my last visit to them, in November 2022, Habiba was next to me the whole time, cuddling and kissing me, and giving me handmade accessories she had crafted herself. Those simple moments would have remained beautiful memories bringing joy to my heart if I hadn't lost my sister and her daughters."
Hadeel relates what she knows of the deaths of her sister and her two nieces.
"I will never forgive those who caused me to lose them. They killed them while they were scared, and they told me this. They found Hala lying on the bed hugging her daughter Maimana. As for Habiba, they found her on the balcony sitting on the swing, as though trying to enjoy the moments of calm amidst the chaos and destruction.
"I thank God for the survival of my nephew, who is 17, who was standing near his martyred sister, but was thrown some distance by the force of the explosion. He received a head injury but survived – by a miracle. Her younger son, who is nine, was in another room with his grandparents and other members of the family. In the moment the bomb struck his 22-year-old cousin embraced him, and they were both buried under the rubble. However, they managed to dig their way out."
Hadeel finishes: "I will keep talking about what happened to Hala and her daughters because she wouldn't have remained silent, and it doesn't matter to me who's around, nor what their nationalities are.
"I will spread her story as widely as I can. Hala wanted to live in better circumstances, and she deserved to achieve her dreams, and for her children to achieve theirs. She deserved to live in peace and safety. I could cry silently at home, but I won't do that. I will keep talking about the massacre."
Source: newarab.com
https://www.newarab.com/features/hala-maimana-and-habiba-killed-gaza-israels-bombs
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Woman Arrested For Hate Crime In California Has Persian Posts On Instagram
11 Nov 2023
In an incident in Tarzana, Los Angeles,
a 54-year-old woman, apparently of Middle Eastern descent, named Tikvah
Mottahedeh was arrested on hate crime charges this week.
She allegedly rammed her vehicle into the gates of the Eretz Synagogue and Cultural Center on Wilbur Avenue, not once but twice, just after midnight on Thursday.
The Los Angeles Police Department took Mottahedeh into custody for vandalism as a hate crime on a house of worship. The synagogue, which became the target of the attack, suffered damage to its gates.
Investigations revealed that Mottahedeh had an Instagram account under her name, featuring posts in Persian, Hebrew, and English. The account included critical writings against the government of Israel and the policies of the Iranian government. Similarly, her Meta (Facebook) account indicated that she is an Iranian Jewish woman.
However, Iran International cannot confirm whether the social media accounts truly belong to the assailant. The United States has detained her on a $25,000 bail but further details of the incident have not been disclosed.
The incident follows a series of anti-Jewish attacks in different countries, notably after Hamas's attack on Israel on October 7, leading to conflict in the Gaza Strip.
German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said in reaction on Thursday that he was "ashamed and outraged" at a recent wave of antisemitic incidents in Germany, warning Berlin would not tolerate such anti-Jewish hatred.
Metropolitan Police Commissioner Mark Rowley had earlier called for stringent laws to combat extremism, especially in the aftermath of the Hamas-Israel conflict, highlighting a "gap" in dealing with extremism within the existing legal framework.
Source: iranintl.com
https://www.iranintl.com/en/202311112331
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Breaking barriers: RBTC unveils stories of 100 trailblazing Muslim women
Nov 10, 2023
Rising Beyond the Ceiling (RBTC) has come up with inspiring stories of 100 Muslim women, who have smashed the shackles of conventional barriers and stereotypes by contributing to nation-building from various states in India and the global diaspora.
A book, titled RBTC 100: Rising Beyond the Ceiling, featuring the stories of 100 inspiring Muslim women from Uttar Pradesh was launched at an event in Lucknow with participation of a number of dignitaries. The event was held in Lucknow on Friday.
RBTC is an initiative designed to spotlight the leadership and contributions of 100 million Indian Muslim women in Independent India.
The book captures the diversity and exemplary accomplishments of UP’s Muslim women drawn from over 30 districts including Agra, Azamgarh, Aligarh, Amroha, Bareilly, Barabanki, Bijnor, Bulandshahr, Bhadohi, Bahraich, Sitapur, Shahjahanpur, Saharanpur, Shamli, Sultanpur, Kanpur, Varanasi, Prayagraj and Lucknow among others.
Some of the achievers featured in the book include: Anam Kamal, a pilot from Lucknow; Ariba Noman Saifi, a rank holder in UPSC 2021 and part of the Indian Police Service UP cadre from Sultanpur; Ayman Jamal, from the Indian Police Service 2018 Batch, serving as a deputy superintendent of police in Chennai and hailing from Gorakhpur; Nsia Zehra, a high-ranking officer in the Indian Army from Barabanki; Neelofer Khan, the first officer with Indigo Airlines, who hails from Shahjahanpur; and Sania Mirza, a fighter pilot with the Indian Air Force from Mirzapur.
“They are shattering stereotypes in uniform, in government departments and agencies; they are change makers in social development; they have made difference in medicine and science; they have achieved excellence in law and academics; they are taking strides in entrepreneurship; they have demonstrated leadership in the business sectors, and made an impact as founders and entrepreneurs and in the media; they are award winning authors, writers and poets, and creative contributors to the arts and are shining is a range of sports,” said Farah K Usmani, the founder of the RBTC initiative at the event.
The inaugural release of RBTC 100 took place in December 2021 after two years of meticulous research and selection. This involved compiling nominations from diverse sources, including various organisations, think tanks and individuals.
Following the model of global 100 lists, RBTC is committed to producing a curated selection of 100 profiles every two years across 15 professional categories. This ongoing initiative aims to showcase the ongoing contributions of Muslim women to nation-building.
The editors of the publication include Farah K Usmani, Sabiha Ahmad, Faiza Abbasi, Irena Akbar and Nayela Ahmad. The artwork on the cover of the publication is by Lucknow-based artist Farzana Shahab.
Source: hindustantimes.com
https://www.hindustantimes.com/cities/lucknow-news/breaking-barriers-rbtc-unveils-stories-of-100-trailblazing-muslim-women-101699625329316.html
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Women’s life satisfaction hits global low in Afghanistan amid declining freedom
Fidel Rahmati
November 11, 2023
On Friday, the Gallup Institute published the results of a recent survey about the situation of women in Afghanistan. The survey carried out in July showed that just 11% of Afghan women are happy with their freedom and social standing. This level of satisfaction is the lowest among all the countries where Gallup has conducted surveys so far.
In this survey, 17% of women in Afghanistan reported being treated “respectfully,” while 83% complained of disrespectful behaviour. The survey also shows that women in Afghanistan generally lead difficult lives.
Gallup has stated that comparing the 2023 survey with the one from 2022 regarding the lives of women in Afghanistan reveals a significant decline in the quality of life, especially in terms of social freedoms. In 2022, 29% of Afghan women expressed satisfaction with their lives, while this figure has dropped to less than half in the current year.
The report states: “Just 11% of Afghan women interviewed in July said they are satisfied with the freedom they have to choose what they do with their lives, which is a new record low, not just for Afghanistan but for any country or population that Gallup has ever polled.”
Gallup Institute has been conducting surveys worldwide on various topics since 2005 and has closely monitored women’s satisfaction with freedom and social life in Afghanistan since 2021.
According to Gallup’s findings, in 2021, men and women in Afghanistan were equally in agreement that the treatment of women in the country was not respectful. However, in 2023, women’s dissatisfaction has sharply increased, and slightly more men than women believe that women are treated with respect.
Since the Taliban assumed control of Afghanistan, they have implemented a series of restrictions that have severely curtailed women’s rights. These restrictions encompass access to education, employment opportunities, and the freedom to travel.
The Taliban’s rule in Afghanistan has led to significant challenges for women, as they face limited opportunities for education, employment, and the ability to move freely. These restrictions have had a profound impact on the lives and aspirations of Afghan women.
Source: khaama.com
https://www.khaama.com/womens-life-satisfaction-hits-global-low-in-afghanistan-amid-declining-freedom/
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UN officials call for urgent action on women’s rights issues in Afghanistan
Fidel Rahmati
November 10, 2023
Amna Mohammed, the Deputy Secretary-General of the United Nations, and Roza Otunbayeva, the head of UNAMA, called for immediate action on the situation of women in Afghanistan during the Organization of Islamic Cooperation meeting.
Amna Mohammed, speaking at the Organization of Islamic Cooperation meeting held on Wednesday in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, under the theme “Women in Islam,” expressed concerns about the situation of women in Afghanistan. She urged that the restrictions imposed by the Taliban administration be urgently addressed.
On the other hand, Roza Otunbayeva, the head of the UN Assistance Mission in Afghanistan (UNAMA), also shared her views at the conference, calling for a global consensus to resolve the legal issues concerning women’s rights in Afghanistan.
“An overwhelming 46 per cent of women express their firm belief that recognition should not occur under any circumstances,” Otunbayeva said. “Additionally, 50 per cent of women shared the view that recognition should be granted only once de facto authorities lift the restrictions on women’s education, employment, and meaningful participation in inclusive government,” she added.
However, women’s rights activists argue that the responses from the United Nations and Islamic countries have not been beneficial in securing the rights of Afghan women.
Soraya Paikan, a women’s rights activist, says that the reactions of the United Nations and Islamic countries have been merely declarative and have not yielded any tangible results in ensuring the rights of Afghan women.
It should be noted that in the past two years, as the Taliban administration came to power, more than 50 decrees against women’s freedoms have been issued in Afghanistan. These decrees have affected various aspects of women’s lives, including restrictions on education and a ban on working in government and non-governmental offices.
Meanwhile, Zabihullah Mujahid, the spokesperson for the Islamic Emirate, responded to the Deputy Secretary-General of the United Nations by stating that, except for a few “minor” issues, women’s rights in Afghanistan are preserved within the framework of Islamic law.
Amna Mohammad emphasized in her speech that more than 130 million girls worldwide are deprived of education, and this issue is more pronounced in Afghanistan.
She further stressed, “We are suffering in this regard.”
It has been over two years since girls from the sixth grade have been deprived of education, and the fate of university women is still uncertain. However, the Islamic Emirate believes that women’s rights in Afghanistan have been secured.
Source: khaama.com
https://www.khaama.com/un-officials-call-for-urgent-action-on-womens-rights-issues-in-afghanistan/
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Bushra Bibi may be arrested in near future
November 11, 2023
Ansar Abbasi
ISLAMABAD: Bushra Bibi, wife of jailed PTI Chairman Imran Khan, may find her in serious trouble in the near future.
Informed sources said that the NAB is cross checking certain pieces of “evidence”, which if confirmed will change the status of Bushra Bibi from a “witness” to “accused”.
The sources said that the Bureau has received some fresh evidence, which is being cross checked. If it gets confirmed, the sources said Bushra Bibi will become an accused of the NAB and may be arrested as well.
The evidence, it is said, pertains to some financial transactions that Bushra Bibi allegedly received. The latest report, leaked to the media and the follow-up press conferences on the subject by PMLN and MQM, about Farah Shahzadi are also a prelude to some added problems for Imran Khan.
Meanwhile, the NAB has also accelerated its probe towards conclusion in Imran Khan’s alleged corruption cases - Toshakhana and UK’s NCA (National Crime Agency) £190 million. The NAC’s £190 case is also known as the Al-Qadir Trust case. According to the sources, the Bureau may soon conclude these probes and decide about filing of references against Imran Khan. On Thursday, news about the alleged corruption of Farah Shahzadi was reported by different TV channels while quoting government sources. Later, PMLN’s Atta Tarar held a detailed press conference on Farah’s alleged corruption and linked her with Imran Khan and Bushra Bibi.
It was claimed that Farah’s declared and non-declared assets had grown by a staggering Rs4,520 million from 2017 to 2020. It was reported, “The government sources released a public report on Thursday, alleging Farah Gogi did massive corruption during the PTI government. Over Rs14 billion are lying in 102 bank accounts of Farah Gogi, her husband Ahsan Jamil Gujjar and their partners. The declared and non-declared assets of Farhat Shahzadi alias Farah Gogi increased by Rs4,520 million from 2017 to 2020.”
The media reported that after the UK’s National Crime Agency returned 190 million pounds to the PTI government on Dec 3, 2019, Gogi got land on July 19, 2021, measuring 240-kanal registered in her name in return for that money. This precious land was transferred to Farah Gogi allegedly as a bribe, the media report said, adding in return for that bribe, the PTI government did not pursue a damages case worth Rs460 billion against a real estate tycoon.
In April this year, The News investigative journalist Fakhar Durrani had reported that the wealth of Farhat grew exponentially within the first three years since prime minister Imran Khan formed his government. The total declared assets of Farhat Shahzadi grew four times from Rs231 million in 2017 to Rs971 million in 2021. Her filing in 2018 was nil. It was reported by The News that her declared assets before Imran Khan came into power were reported to be worth Rs231,635,297 (Rs231 million) in 2017. However, within the first three years of Imran Khan’s government Farah bought several properties in different cities and made investments worth hundreds of millions of rupees in different business sectors.
Farah Khan, as per the documents, also availed herself of whitening of black money scheme (Tax Amnesty Scheme) in 2019 during Imran Khan’s government and declared assets worth Rs328 million under the Tax Amnesty Scheme 2019.
The documents further show that Farah Khan bought some luxurious properties in Lahore and Islamabad, including a villa in a posh sector of Islamabad. As per the documents, Farah Khan declared a 933 square yards house in Islamabad’s Sector F-7/2, which she bought for Rs195 million.
Source: thenews.com.pk
https://www.thenews.com.pk/print/1127958-bushra-bibi-may-be-arrested-in-near-future
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Think dating is hard? Try being a single Muslim woman in the UK
Tanyel Mustafa
11 Nov 2023
With an abundance of apps, toxic trends, and the mentality that you could hold out for someone ‘better’, we know the dating scene isn’t easy.
But for Muslim women in the UK, there are other, unique challenges to contend with: a conflict between their religious identity and being part of a Western society which doesn’t always align with their values and customs, and where ignorance about Islam is rife.
Haboon Kaysar, 21, from London, only dates Muslim men. ‘I’ve tried talking to other people, and it is just far more complicated,’ she says.
Hurdles include endlessly explaining her choices, being questioned and not heard, and having people not quite get it – no matter how good their intentions are.
‘I don’t drink, so I have to explain myself. People say “don’t you want to try it”, I say no, and I don’t think I could be with a partner that drinks,’ she says.
‘Another example is sex before marriage. It’s normal to have that with a partner, but I have to explain that I don’t want that, and they will ask why and try to convince me.
‘There’s also prayer, fasting during Ramadan, eating halal food – it seems incredibly complicated and strict to [non-Muslims], but it isn’t to me.
‘And I dress modestly, so I can’t do trends, which makes being a woman more complicated. For my own sanity, it’s easier for me to date within my religion.’
But, Haboon says even dating within her faith still isn’t easy. ‘There is a certain level to which you are judged by everyone – people that are and aren’t Muslim.
‘You can’t be too loud, too shy, too outgoing, you can’t dress a certain way, you can’t have certain hobbies.
‘I often feel a back and forth between where I fit in as both a Muslim woman and someone that lives in the West. It messes with your identity. Another layer is added when you’re a Black woman.’
As a Somalian woman, sometimes Haboon feels she ‘can’t relate’ to the wider Black community due to way her religion guides her lifestyle, but then on the flipside, there can also be a disconnect with Muslims who aren’t Black.
A recent study from Muslim dating app Muzz found 66% of Black Muslims have never attended a mixed ethnicity singles event due to fears of being overlooked due to their race.
Meanwhile, 68% said they have felt some sort of racism or colorism in their dating journey on or offline.
As for the future, Haboon says she is ‘hopeful’ but with a ‘massive grain of salt, and a somewhat diminished faith in the dating world’.
In an international study conducted by advertising agency TBWA Asia, it was found that nearly eight out of 10 Muslims use online dating platforms to find life partners.
This is different to other groups of society, in which large groups of people use apps to secure hook ups, or casual dates. Esquire’s Big Sex study of 2017 found 63% of 18-24 year-olds who use Tinder only log on out of boredom – which is hardly a sign of looking for love.
It’s an obstacle faced by Mariam Ibrahim, an Egyptian Muslim woman living in Birmingham, who didn’t ‘expect’ to find herself single at 37. It’s ‘disheartening’, but she believes God intended this for her – and she isn’t going to settle for just anyone.
‘It’s getting harder to the older I become,’ Mariam says, ‘I moved from Dubai to the UK about two and half years ago for a job and because I have family here. But I haven’t been on a date since I moved, though I am on a few apps like Hinge, Bumble and Muzz.
‘I feel like men go on these apps, but they’re not actually super serious about where they want to go from there.’
Mariam is hoping to marry a Muslim man – born into the religion or converted. Her family wanted her to marry an Arabic Muslim man, but over time they have become ‘more lenient and flexible’ about who that man is, so long as he’s Muslim.
Being aware of those family wishes is also ‘something to think about’ for Muslim women, and adds another layer to the dating process.
Miriam explains that the idea of ‘dating’ in Islam ‘is a tricky one’ and that ‘it comes from a Westernised view’. Within her culture, there tends to be long term intention behind meeting someone.
‘We don’t have [dating] the way the West does,’ she says. ‘But we do have some sort of equivalent where we go out and make sure the intention behind the meeting is marriage at some point. And you get to know the person, and you may have a chaperone.’
So, when looking for a traditional style of partnership that isn’t typically ‘Western’, it’s no wonder a Western style of dating doesn’t quite work.
But not all Muslims resonate with a conservative outlook – some are dating people of other religious and non-religious views.
Hanifa Ferdous, 26, from London, is in a relationship with a Jewish man, and has dated a mix of Muslim and non-Muslim men in the past.
For her, religion is ‘a very personal thing, very spiritual, private thing’, so she doesn’t need her partners to share the same beliefs. ‘I think there’s a lot of crossovers with people from other minority heritages or religious backgrounds, so you can relate even if it’s not the same and it’s easier to date,’ she explains.
She does add though, that dating outside her culture can cause anxiety that she’s being fetishised, with stereotypes around Muslim women affecting the way she’s seen.
‘My faith is politicised day to day, we’re shown as “oppressed”, we’re isolated, so you’re quite misunderstood from many different angles as a brown Muslim woman,’ she says.
Equally, dating Muslim men isn’t always a walk in park – Hanifa has met young Muslim men with traditional values that in her eyes are ‘sexist’.
But, for Hanfia, with the right partner, different religious outlooks can still be a unifying experience.
‘With my partner, he grew up in a similar household with very religious parents who were very active in the Jewish community, like mine in the Muslim community. That allowed us to connect and it allowed me to speak openly about faith.
‘Although, sometimes I can feel quite alone in my relationship, because my family aren’t super accepting.’
When dating outside of the Muslim community, educating people has been is a sticking point for Hanifa.
‘I used to have a strict rule about not educating men who didn’t understand, because living in London, how can they not have done some self-educating?
‘Now when my partner misunderstands something, it bothers me for two minutes, and then I think, okay, he’s got good intentions. I don’t mind educating him a little bit.
‘I think over time, we learn what works for us. We learn who’s worth educating.
‘He’s never walked in my shoes, so some bits he won’t know until he gets an insider’s take on it.’
Source: metro.co.uk
https://metro.co.uk/2023/11/11/think-dating-hard-try-a-single-muslim-woman-uk-19725045/
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URL: https://newageislam.com/islam-women-feminism/refat-sabbah-christians-muslims-jews/d/131094